I’m sure anyone reading this has come across a child who was acting up and was in desperate need of some discipline. Cassandra and I used to work at The Rain Forrest Café (or as I like to call it, the best birth control in the world!!) and were overwhelmed with bratty, rude, spoiled, obnoxious, out of control, little monsters in the form of children on a constant basis. There never seemed to be a day that went by that we didn’t think “that kid is in desperate need of some discipline”. And sometimes, our prayers were answered even before we could leave the table. Some parents were not shy to tell little Tommy “If you do not stop bothering your little sister you will not get any dessert”…(I didn’t have the heart to tell Tommy that he wasn’t missing out because our dessert was nothing to be impressed by…and I kind of liked the road of discipline Tommy was headed on, so I just kept quiet and enjoyed the ride) Most of the time the threat of not getting dessert or a toy from the gift shop would put any rugrat back into check. However, sometimes we would get little children who are not easily persuaded! I remember little Sally, who had a fixation on running around the restaurant despite the many attempts Sally’s mom made to calm her down. As little Sally ran by me, nearly knocking over the order of drinks another one of my tables ordered, I thought to myself, ‘when did this become a playground’. Sure a little spilled soda wouldn’t bother little Sally, but if she bumped into the server carrying hot fajitas, I’m sure that would put a damper on her parade. Well, not to worry because as soon as that thought left my mind, little Sally’s angry mom came over and spanked her, causing little Sally to cry…(and the rest of the restaurant to burst out into a standing ovation for Sally’s mom)…In preparation of our next show on child abuse I am beginning to ponder, if it is ok to spank your child or if any physical contact should be cut off. Sure, little Sall’y mom did not beat her child, and from the sound of the spank, probably did not leave any incriminating marks. However, is spanking a gate-way punishment to abuse? And even if parents can differentiate and control themselves to the point where their spanks never turn into abuse, does having a no physical contact law in place help protect those children who are being physically abused. Much like anything in life, there is a gray area…but where do we as a nation draw the line in the sand to help protect innocently abused children?
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Know The Signs- From Hopeshining.org
Child Abuse
10 Signs A Child Is Being AbusedSigns of
Unexplained injuries.
include unexplained burns or bruises in the shape of objects. You
may also hear unconvincing explanations of a child’s injuries.
Visible signs of physical abuse may
Changes in behavior.
a child’s behavior. Abused children often appear scared, anxious,
depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.
Abuse can lead to many changes in
Returning to earlier behaviors.
display behaviors shown at earlier ages, such as thumb-sucking,
bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers. For some children, even
loss of acquired language or memory problems may be an issue.
Abused children may
Fear of going home.
apprehension or anxiety about leaving school or about going
places with the person who is abusing them.
Abused children may express
Changes in eating.
abuse can lead to changes in a child’s eating behaviors, which
may result in weight gain or weight loss.
The stress, fear and anxiety caused by
Changes in sleeping.
nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and as a result may
appear tired or fatigued.
Abused children may have frequent
Changes in school performance and attendance.
Abused children may have difficulty concentrating in school or
have excessive absences, sometimes due to adults trying to hide
the children’s injuries from authorities.
Lack of personal care or hygiene.
children may appear uncared for. They may present as
consistently dirty and have severe body odor, or they may lack
sufficient clothing for the weather.
Abused and neglected
Risk-taking behaviors.
abused may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or
alcohol or carrying a weapon.
Young people who are being
Inappropriate sexual behaviors.
sexually abused may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use
explicit sexual language.
Children who have been
Some signs that a child is experiencing violence or
abuse are more obvious than others.
Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to contact the
authorities. You do not need proof.
Trust your instincts.
9
10
revitalization and financial literacy.
New York, call the NY State Central Registry of Child Abuse
and Maltreatment at
State, visit 800.342.3720. Outside of New Yorkwww.hopeshining.org for a list of resources.Sunday, June 17, 2012
It Takes a Village
Have you ever been out in public trying to enjoy a nice day while humming the latest GLEE hits when all of a sudden you hear someone slap someone else and before you can locate the nearest emergency exit and or turn to see who is about to get into a rumble, you are left shocked to see that the loud slap was a parent striking their 4 year old child in the face.
Have you ever been over someone’s house for dinner where you are dining with their family, trying to ignore the uncomfortable comments the mom makes to her 13 year old daughter, terrorizing her about her weight? As the little girl is just shuffling food back and forth on her plate staring at it with fear, you start to think to yourself, if she is willing to say that to her daughter in front of guests I cannot imagine what she says to this young girl when she is alone.
How many times have you turned on the TV and saw a story about a leader in the community being accused of raping a child? Whether it is the scandals that rocked the Catholic churches (not saying other denominations do not have their fair share of scandals too) or the recently publicized events of Former Penn State Coach Sandusky. Have you or someone you know been inclined to think “I cannot imagine He would do that to those kids, I’m sure they are just exaggerating, or trying to take advantage of this person so they can get fame or money”.
Next time you doubt that child, whether to yourself or to their face, or the next time you do not speak up for that little girl who is being verbally abused, and the next time you do not stand up for that kid who is being abused in broad day light, think about the abuse you did not see that those children face. It is our mission on our upcoming episode to shed light on this important subject, so that we can not only talk about ways we can get involved, but let those who are abused, or were abused know that we are on their side.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Touching on a Taboo Topic...
My co-host Mike & I have always promised each other that when it comes to Sorry We're Perfect, we will remain true to who we are. And sometimes that means discussing subjects that aren't quite as lighthearted. We're not afraid to talk about things that can sometimes be uncomfortable. We understand that life is not always fun. We believe that it's our civic duty to reach out to others and to make a difference whenever we can. That's why our next subject covers a topic that is a little more serious & a little harder to talk about...
CHILD ABUSE.
According to Childhelp.org, the United States has the worst record in the industrialized nation, losing 5 children EVERY SINGLE DAY due to abuse. Just of the cases reported, there are SIX MILLION children affected by child abuse in this country every year. Those are just the reported cases. Whether physical, sexual, or emotional/verbal- child abuse is something that damages children FOR LIFE.
I know personally what sort of damage abuse causes to a child. It is not something that happens and then is forgotten as children grow up. When a child is abused, it affects them in some way for the rest of their life. Yes, there are varying degrees of abuse. But no matter what it is, I can guarantee that every child that suffers abuse, suffers as an adult.
Abuse is often a taboo subject. People that have been abused don't want to talk about. People that witness abuse don't want to get involved. People that abuse often look and act just like everyone else...to the point where outsiders find it impossible that they are in fact abusers. We all know it occurs, but we've been conditioned to look the other way. We've been conditioned not to notice. It is an ugly subject.
Often, children who are abused, whether it's by family, friends, friends of family, or a complete stranger, never see their abuser confronted. They never get closure on their abuse. They don't talk about it and they don't deal with it. Unfortunately, it also never goes away. Like most "bad" things in life, abuse that isn't dealt with will follow a victim forever.
As we prepare for our episode on child abuse, we hope that we can provide resources and information that will help people. In order to stop child abuse in this country, we have to be able to talk about it. We can no longer allow this problem to remain a taboo subject. If we face it, if we talk about it and make people aware, we create change. And we save lives.
For adults out there who have been abused and have hidden their story, their are resources available to provide support. You no longer have to feel that no one understands, that what happened is shameful to you in anyway, or that you can't talk about it. For more information on support for adult victims of child abuse, visit www.ascasupport.org.
And tune in Wed., June 20th, as Sorry We're Perfect talks about child abuse.
CHILD ABUSE.
According to Childhelp.org, the United States has the worst record in the industrialized nation, losing 5 children EVERY SINGLE DAY due to abuse. Just of the cases reported, there are SIX MILLION children affected by child abuse in this country every year. Those are just the reported cases. Whether physical, sexual, or emotional/verbal- child abuse is something that damages children FOR LIFE.
I know personally what sort of damage abuse causes to a child. It is not something that happens and then is forgotten as children grow up. When a child is abused, it affects them in some way for the rest of their life. Yes, there are varying degrees of abuse. But no matter what it is, I can guarantee that every child that suffers abuse, suffers as an adult.
Abuse is often a taboo subject. People that have been abused don't want to talk about. People that witness abuse don't want to get involved. People that abuse often look and act just like everyone else...to the point where outsiders find it impossible that they are in fact abusers. We all know it occurs, but we've been conditioned to look the other way. We've been conditioned not to notice. It is an ugly subject.
Often, children who are abused, whether it's by family, friends, friends of family, or a complete stranger, never see their abuser confronted. They never get closure on their abuse. They don't talk about it and they don't deal with it. Unfortunately, it also never goes away. Like most "bad" things in life, abuse that isn't dealt with will follow a victim forever.
As we prepare for our episode on child abuse, we hope that we can provide resources and information that will help people. In order to stop child abuse in this country, we have to be able to talk about it. We can no longer allow this problem to remain a taboo subject. If we face it, if we talk about it and make people aware, we create change. And we save lives.
For adults out there who have been abused and have hidden their story, their are resources available to provide support. You no longer have to feel that no one understands, that what happened is shameful to you in anyway, or that you can't talk about it. For more information on support for adult victims of child abuse, visit www.ascasupport.org.
And tune in Wed., June 20th, as Sorry We're Perfect talks about child abuse.
Monday, June 11, 2012
"2012 Bachelor of the Year" Pete talks to Sorry We're Perfect's listeners all the way from Hawaii!
Aloha!
First, it was an honor to be chosen as the first bachelor of the year for Sorry We're Perfect. What a great podcast! I thoroughly enjoyed the on air question and answer session we had. I have to admit I was a little nervous on the first question.
With all that being said, I think that being a bachelor in itself is a great thing! You have the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and how you want. I don't think though that once a guy meets his "special lady" that these thing should change. One can still do what he wants, how he wants; however, I think it would be even more special do to it with someone he loves.
Too many relationships, married or not, get caught up in the routine. I have found myself guilty of this at times. One sometimes forgets to keep dating her and to keep the romance alive. Personally, I think there is no better feeling than surprising a woman and making her feel special, not just on her birthday or on an anniversary, but on a random day, at a random time. I think that's what I miss most about being in a relationship.
Okay, well it really was fun! I really look forward to calling in again and I certainly can't wait to help you guys co-host the bachelorette of the year competition. I certainly have a few questions for the ladies out there that I'd like to set straight!
Mahalo!
Pete
First, it was an honor to be chosen as the first bachelor of the year for Sorry We're Perfect. What a great podcast! I thoroughly enjoyed the on air question and answer session we had. I have to admit I was a little nervous on the first question.
With all that being said, I think that being a bachelor in itself is a great thing! You have the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and how you want. I don't think though that once a guy meets his "special lady" that these thing should change. One can still do what he wants, how he wants; however, I think it would be even more special do to it with someone he loves.
Too many relationships, married or not, get caught up in the routine. I have found myself guilty of this at times. One sometimes forgets to keep dating her and to keep the romance alive. Personally, I think there is no better feeling than surprising a woman and making her feel special, not just on her birthday or on an anniversary, but on a random day, at a random time. I think that's what I miss most about being in a relationship.
Okay, well it really was fun! I really look forward to calling in again and I certainly can't wait to help you guys co-host the bachelorette of the year competition. I certainly have a few questions for the ladies out there that I'd like to set straight!
Mahalo!
Pete
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