2001

2001 was a major year in US history. Politically, the world was thrown into unrest with the terrorist attacks of 9/11. I myself was in lower Manhattan on that day & like most other New Yorkers I watched in horror as our city was attacked and the turmoil of the days after as many people searched and mourned for their lost loved ones. It was a very sad time for the greatest city in the world (yes-I said it!) and for all Americans as we felt our safety violated for the first time on US soil in a very long time. However, the nation showed its strength as we pulled together and took a stand against terrorists, with new president George W. Bush taking the reigns.
Oddly enough, as a large part of the rest of the world seemed caught up in a new war and terrorist attacks, Northern Ireland took major leaps towards peace as the IRA announced it had started to dismantle its arsenal.
Our federal debt was under 6 billion (Remember the good old days when it wasn't in the trillions???)
In sports, Baltimore took the Giants in the Super Bowl & Arizona beat out the Yankees in the World Series...not a great year for New York in general. :(
America's Sweetheart Julia Roberts finally took home the Oscar for Erin Brockovich, after getting robbed for Pretty Woman (in my humble opinion).
The West Wing & the lovely ladies of Sex in the City dominated the Emmys & Harry Potter started it's cult following in film that year, taking in an unprecedented 93.5 million in the box office. (I still have not seen that film...I don't know why but wizards and children really creep me out...)
While the usual music makers dominated the charts, including Jay Z, JLO, Britt Britt, and Blink 182, Bob Dylan made a surprising re-appearance in 2001 with his album Love & Theft.
In science, cloning, stem cell research, and artificial organs were all the rage, causing both controversy & major medical breakthroughs. The first successful artificial heart was even used!
RIP George Harrison & Dale Earnhardt...two beloved celebs that are still sorely missed.
All in all, 2001 was a HUGE year, with many events that ended up changing history in a BIG way. Where would we be in 2012, if not for the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center that launched us into the War on Terrorism?

Y2K

It's hard to believe that Christmas and Hanukkah are behind us and we are mere days away from the New Year!  Time sure has flown by!  Which is an appropriate sentiment for SWP's next show which is dedicated to chronicle highlights from the past 12 years.  We would love to hear from you regarding one of your favorite and most important moments from 2000 to the present.

I am going to kick-off this nostalgic time capsule with the year 2000 (which always reminds of Conan O'Briens old skit "In the year 2000").

How could one forget Y2K!  The year the world was supposed to come crashing down as we fall victim to technology.  I vividly remember waking up the morning of December 31st, 1999 watching the news to see if people across the globe had become tragic victims of the Y2K disaster.  To my "surprise" I watched the broadcasts of people celebrating the New Year in China and all over the world.  Phew, I thought, I guess we will survive...(I don't want to fast forward to present times, but if history does repeat itself, I think the hype of the end of the world in 2012 will leave many disappointed)

Speaking of Surviving, I remember a little hit show called (you guessed it) Survivor which aired its record-breaking season finale in the summer of 2000 where over 51 million people witnessed the infamously gay nudo Richard Hatch take home the grand prize of $1,000,000!

Hatch's victory wasn't the only awe-inspiring gay headline in 2000, a little state famed for their amazing ski resorts bucked the cultural trend by passing HB847 aka the law that legalized civil unions for gay couples!

For "some" reason gay unions remind me of the pop sensation NSYNC that ruled pop culture (for girls and gays at least).  It seemed as though you couldn't turn on the radio or tv for more than 5 minutes without seeing those sensational sissy's.  And if it wasn't NSYNC that was on it was their female counterpart, Britney Spears that was delighting us with her..umm..."vocals".  Don't get me wrong, unless this is the first post  you've read, you very well know I was and still am a huge Britney fan.  That little pop tart always gets me movin and shakin, and to be honest, she inspires me to believe that anyone can become a hit singer...and I mean ANYONE...  Some other favorite musicians of 2000 include Lenny Kravitz, Blink 182, U2, All Saints (who the hell are they?!), pre-Lady Gaga icon aka Madonna, Pink, the Clean Christina Aguillara (before she got all dirty) R.E.M and Faith Hill to name a few.

I think what I remember most and cherish the most about 2000, wasn't the fact that I not only had my license and kick ass car to drive...but that gas was only $1.26 per gallon!  But I don't want to get ahead of ourselves here, we will discuss the 9/11 attacks and the Iraq WAR which has helped make the $1.26 price per gallon a faint memory of the past.

Resources From Last Nights Show

What to Do When Bullying Continues or Gets Worse

If the bullying gets worse and you need additional help, consider the following if:

Someone is at immediate risk of harm because of bullying	Call the police 911
Your child is feeling suicidal because of bullying	Contact the suicide prevention hotline  at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Your child’s teacher is not keeping your child safe from being bullied	Contact local school administrator (principal or superintendent)
Your school is not keeping your child safe from being bullied	Contact the State School Department
Your child is sick, stressed, not sleeping, or is having other problems because of bullying	Contact your counselor or other health professional
Your child is bullied because of their race, ethnicity, or disability and local help is not working to solve the problem	Contact the U.S. Department of Education’s Office on Civil Rights

he Federal Departments of Health and Human Services and Education

Resources
http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/howparentscanstopbullies.php
To date, 47 states have some type of parental liability law

To find out what your states law on bullying is go to
http://bullypolice.org/

http://www.ncvc.org/tvp/main.aspx?dbName=Bullying
The National Center for Victims of Crime

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

866-4-U-TREVOR

Yourlifeyourvoice.org

http://www.flipthescriptnow.org/parents

Resources From Last Nights Show

What to Do When Bullying Continues or Gets Worse

If the bullying gets worse and you need additional help, consider the following if:

Someone is at immediate risk of harm because of bullying	Call the police 911
Your child is feeling suicidal because of bullying	Contact the suicide prevention hotline  at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Your child’s teacher is not keeping your child safe from being bullied	Contact local school administrator (principal or superintendent)
Your school is not keeping your child safe from being bullied	Contact the State School Department
Your child is sick, stressed, not sleeping, or is having other problems because of bullying	Contact your counselor or other health professional
Your child is bullied because of their race, ethnicity, or disability and local help is not working to solve the problem	Contact the U.S. Department of Education’s Office on Civil Rights

he Federal Departments of Health and Human Services and Education

Resources
http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/howparentscanstopbullies.php
To date, 47 states have some type of parental liability law

To find out what your states law on bullying is go to
http://bullypolice.org/

http://www.ncvc.org/tvp/main.aspx?dbName=Bullying
The National Center for Victims of Crime

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

866-4-U-TREVOR

Yourlifeyourvoice.org

http://www.flipthescriptnow.org/parents

Mandatory Anti-Bullying Education & Programs in EVERY SCHOOL in America.

Doing this two-part series on bullying was AMAZING. First, the response from our listeners on the subject was truly touching. So many people have been personally affected by bullying. Secondly, those that participated in the show, allowing us to share their stories and their passion about bullying. We would especially like to thank Chelsea, who shared in part one her experiences with being bullied as a kid. Sarah, who shared her insider's perspective as an educator in episode two. And finally, Dan Puder, MMA champ & undefeated UFC fighter, who has started an amazing organization called My Life My Power to help stop bullying. We are so lucky to have so many wonderful people on our team who want to make a difference. THANK YOU!
We too want to make a difference. Which is why we've started a petition to make anti-bullying education and programs mandatory in EVERY SCHOOL IN AMERICA. We educate kids on so many dangers, from drugs to unprotected sex, yet we rarely educate them on a serious danger that is affecting a TON of kids in this country-BULLYING. We also fail to prepare educators to deal with bullying. Not another kid should become a victim of bullying. Not another kid should be scared to go to school. Not another kid should take their own life or the lives of others. It's time we did something about it.
Please sign our petition and get others to do the same. The more people who speak out, the sooner we can stop this epidemic.

Tis the Season

Ok, so I thought it was tis the season to be "JOLLY"?!  It seems like everytime I step into a store, especially my local Wal Mart, it seems like people are full of rage that only a reindeer slugging a huge sleigh roaming in the world in one night should only feel.  Now, I understand that times in general are tough, with the bad economy, and Rachel Crow unjustfully being voted off of the X Factor last week (DAMN YOU NICOLE S!)  but come on, can't I shop the kitchenware section without having people cursing at the salesman because their $2.98 waffle maker is out of stock.  First of all you angry  little elf, who on earth is going to trust one of the days most important meals on a $2.98 machine, no thank you.  Second of all, I am sure it is not the salesman's fault they are out of stock, I mean leave the poor guy alone, can't you see he was busy texting...RUDE! What I do love most about holiday shopping around this time of year, is seeing the, how do I put it...I dont want to call them ungratefully obnoxious little children...so I will just refer to them as "future little stars on an upcoming episode of Super Nanny".  Why wouldnt their mother be excited to be out shopping with these little tykes when they are so "helpful" by letting their mother know what they want her, I mean Santa (no I really mean her) to buy them for XMAS by SHOUTING at the top of their lungs, screaming that they NEED that toy, meanwhile punching their sibling.  I dont mind if thats the way that family celebrates this time of year but I kindly would appreciate not being involved, so if the smaller deamon child could refrain from running into my cart I think that would be nice.

12 MORE DAYS til XMAS....

People Change But Seldom Do...Do Bully's?!

So I was watching The Big Bang Theory last night and to my surprise the episode was about facing your bully as an adult.  In the episode the bully of the past reverted back to old habbits of bullying which in the world of tv sitcoms proved to be a perfect plot for humor...but the fact that in real life former bullys do walk among us makes for a stark reality.  What happens to bullys of the past.  Do most of them have epihonys and realize the wrong they have done or do old habbits die hard.  Afterall, the old addage saying "people change and seldom do".  If that is the case, how are these former bully's integrated into society, are they still causing pain in others lives?  Which reminds me of another funny show, Will and Grace, where Will's former bully tormented him in the work place in the same sadistic way he did when they were on the playground.  I am going to focus my weekend research around the notion of what becomes of bullys. 

An American Tragedy

I was about to dedicate today's blog to something lighthearted and whimsical such as my favorite holiday songs.  Afterall, I have had "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" stuck in my head since Halloween (thank you Wal Mart).  However, just as I opened this window to type away, I came across a recent story about a shooting that just occurred at Virginia Tech.  There is not much reporting on motives etc. since it literally just happened but it's a story that we as a nation are too unfortunately familiar with.  Before I rant, I would like to say that those that lost their lives, the loved one's of the deceased and the community it has affected, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

As mentioned earlier we do not know the details of this tragic shooting, but whenever I hear about a school shooting I constantly am reminded of the "9/11" of school shootings, at Columbine.  Who can forget that horrific day that left a nation vulnerable and disturbed.  A day that reminded us that the essence of school safety was a thing of the past.  We understand that we live in a world where violence and heanous crimes occur on a to frequent basis (and thanks to the 24 hour news cycle that won't let us forget) but shouldn't schools be off limits to these levels of terror.  Can't we put up signs next to the "Drug Free School Zone" that read "Terror Free School Zone".  Couldn't the villains of the world just give us that, peace of mind that kid's can go to school without fearing they will become a victim of utter terror...

Oh wait, I almost forgot!  In the case of Columbine the terror was caused within the walls, by two fellow classmates.  How could I forget that the terrorist in that horrific situation was a result of two students who were bullied and victimized and took their unacceptable revenge out on their terrorists.

On last night's show I referenced that I truly believe that school bullies are in fact tiny terrorists.  Sometimes they inflict their pain on their prey through verbal and, too often, physical warfare.  Now by no means am I saying what the two shooters at Columbine did was justified.  It is NEVER ok to take an innocent life.  However, school shootings have more culprits than just the shooters.  What about the people who bully the shooters, and the kids, parents and teachers that stand by and don't try to systematically end bullying, and restore a peaceful place for kid's to get an education.

I think we need to remember the day we sat and watched Columbine unfold, and remember how we felt united in a front to prevent this from happening again.  No, not every school shooter is a victim of bullying, but a lot are, and more over, its a huge issue that affects WAY TOO MANY children.  Why does this nation need "9/11" moments to act united...UNITED....you know, as in the FIRST word in the name of this county.

Is it because on some level we only function with fear?!?!  Maybe that's where these tiny terrorist bullies get their motivation....

Bullying Resources.

Here are some resources about bullying. Hopefully it provides a little help to those out there who find themselves at a loss on how to deal with bullying.

http://www.anti-bullyingalliance.org/index.htm Gives tips to kids, parents, and teachers on dealing with bullying. Lots of resources. http://www.bullying.co.uk This one is really interesting because it not only provides resources for bully victims, but the bullies themselves. http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov Interactive government website that also provides hypothetical situations so that kids can talk about how to handle bullying. http://www.bullyingnoway.com.au/ http://www.mcgruff.org/Grownups/lp_bullies.htm This one is specifically for small children to teach them how to recognize bullying and what to do if they see it.  http://www.bullying.com.au/ This teaches everyone, including adults, how to stop bullying.  And remember that tonight's episode was just part 1 in a 2 part series on bullying. Part 2 will air two weeks from tonight, Wed., the 21st, at 9PM/11PM. We will be joined by special guest, UFC fighter & MMA champ Dan Puder who will tell us all about his experiences with bullying and how he is helping to put a stop to it with his organization My Life My Power. Check it out at www.mylifemypower.org.

O- MMA- G!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGE CELEB NEWS

WE HAVE SOME UNBELIEVABLY EXCITING NEWS!!!!  As many of you know, we are preparing for our Season Two opening show tomorrow where we are focussing on a topic we are very passiontate about, bullying.  Today, Christmas came a little early and we just booked an INCREDIBLE guest who will be our first CELEBRITY guest to date (sorry lady who knew the Duggar family, we, like the Jefferson's are moving ON UP!...listen to Season One's episode on Reality TV to catch that reference)

We just booked MMA's only undefeated champion in the rinks and champion against bullying.  He is the founder of My Life My Power,  to provide organizations and youth with effective programs to help combat bullying through various avenues such as self esteem , self empowerment and body image.

He has an incredible story which starts with personal experiences as a kid who was bullied because he was in a special education program yet has lived a successful life through the philosophy of "It doesn't matter what you are born with- it's what you do with what you have"- Daniel Puder.

And indeed we cannot wait for what will be an INCREDIBLE show where we can learn how to fight the epidemic of bullying with one of the nation's leading advocates for this cause! 

I would love to write more but a) I am SOOOO EXCITED I can barely type, think or tweet, and b) I have to go do some EXTENSIVE research so I do this celebrity proud!!!!!

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS TOMORROWS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why When It Comes To Bullying, Are We So Slow To Act?

In all our research on bullying, we have read so many horrific stories. It blows my mind that this type of abuse occurs in schools every day. The physical violence, the harassment, the emotional torture...all happening in school hallways, playgrounds, and classrooms. But what blows my mind even more, is that it seems in those instances when students finally get up the courage to report the bullying, it's often downplayed, overlooked, and swept under the rug. This attitude towards bullying victims seems to start at the top, with our government and law makers, and trickle down to local police, teachers, and parents.
For example, recently an anti-bullying bill was put before the Michigan State Senate. The bill was intended to protect bullying victims under law (which in my opinion is like, duh. Why wouldn't they be? But anyway...) At the last moment, some individual we'll refer to as a SUPER SWEET GUY suggested modifying the bill to protect anyone who bullies for religious or moral beliefs from being persecuted. Now, the bill was passed without that modification (THANK GOD), but it still brings up some very good issues. First of all, what kind of person thinks it's okay to bully someone, or abuse them, because they live a lifestyle that you don't morally agree with (i.e. they happen to be gay)? These are LAW-MAKERS suggesting this...government! This isn't some back-woods, third-grade educated hillbilly. This is somebody in the senate. And it wasn't just the person who suggested it that seemed to think it was a good idea---people backed him up!
Second issue: Why are we just now creating these bills? Yes, I agree that in recent times bullying has become a bigger issue. But it was happening 15 years ago when I was in high school and teachers looked the other way. Why do we need special laws that allow us to punish kids, teens, and adults who bully? It should be a no-brainer. It is the job of adults and law-makers in this country to protect children. I assumed they were a protected class. Why is taking so long to protect them? When a child in a home is being abused, we pull them out. These days a parent can't even spank a child without fearing that social services is going to take their child away from them. But when a student is being viciously attacked to the point where they fear returning to school to get the education they need and deserve, the adults who know about it often do nothing. When we handle bullying that way, we send a message to kids that it's okay to bully. I mean, if it were wrong, they would be punished right?
I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

P.S. Here's the links to a petition & some articles about this Michigan State law.

http://www.change.org/petitions/help-michigan-students-stop-the-license-to-bully-bill

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/29/michigan-senate-approves-_n_1119438.html

http://detnews.com/article/20111128/SCHOOLS/111280351/Anti-bully-bill-debate-heats-up-in-Michigan-legislature

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2011/11/michigan-senate-passes-anti-bullying-bill-without-religious-exemptions/

Is the Ecuadorian Government Bullying it's Own People?!

I recently received an email (that is listed below) fro Change.Org about Lesbian Torture Clinics in Ecuador.  The details of this disgusting and gut wrenching injustice is outlined below including a link for you to be a part of the solution.  In short, the LGBT community in Ecuador are being tortured in government run clinics just because of their sexuality.  I will let the letter below educate you on the matter but before you jump down to it I wanted to share a thought.  As you know from previous posts we are gearing up for our upcoming show on bullying.  I cannot help but equate the government of Ecuador as just one big powerful bully to the LGBT community.  They are isolating their victim (just as any school bully does), they use physical and mental abuse tactics to make their prey submissive (just as any school bully does) so aren't they in fact just one giant asshole of a bully?!  And if so, what role do we have in helping these victims (and yes if you are reading this you are in a sense a witness).  We mentioned in previous blogs that being a witness that idly stands by not intervening is a part of the problem.  I know I do not want to be a part of this devastating problem and I hope you do not either so please join us in signing this petition to help stop the bullying of LGBT people by their own government.



Paola Ziritti is unthinkably brave to speak publicly about the “clinic.” She endured physical assault, sexual abuse, and a constant battery of insults. Guards would even throw buckets of cold water and urine on her. For two years, this was Paola’s waking nightmare... because she’s a lesbian. The “doctors” and guards at the clinic were trying to “cure” her.
Paola lives in Ecuador, where these so-called clinics are terrifyingly common -- although the government shut down 27 this year, 180 clinics remain open, and most of the prisoners there are women. (Some gay men and transgendered people are in the clinics as well, but far fewer.)
Paola’s parents knew they were sending her to a forced confinement clinic, but they had no idea how awful it would be. Once Paola’s mother realized what she’d done, she tried to get her daughter back, but the clinic said no. The process to free Paola took a year.
A few incredibly courageous Ecuadorian women are fighting back -- they call themselves Fundacion Causana. The women of Fundacion Causana started a petition on Change.org demanding that Ecuadoran Minister of Public Health Dr. David Chiriboga Allnut investigate and shut down all 180 remaining clinics that torture women to “cure” them. Please sign the petition right now.
Fundacion Causana does direct-service work on the ground to save women from the clinics, but they say it’s not enough. They need the unbridled support of the Ecuadoran government to get all of the clinics shut down.
So far, the government has only shut down a small cluster of clinics in one region of the country. Ecuador’s government officials need to know that we are watching and will not stand idly by while women are imprisoned and tortured.
Please sign Fundacion Causana’s petition demanding that the Ecuadoran Minister of Public Health investigate and shut down every “clinic” that tortures members of Ecuador’s LGBT community:
http://www.change.org/petitions/fiscal-general-del-estado-close-fake-clinics-that-torture-lgbt-in-order-to-cure-them
Thanks for being a change-maker,
- Weldon and the Change.org team

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I know it's been a while since we have blogged, but we have been preparing for our upcoming show on Bullying, one that we are excited to do.  I know it sounds a little strange to put the words "exciting" and "bullying" in the same sentence.  However, we are excited to produce a show on a horrific epidemic that may in fact help shed light on a solution, which in turn is exciting.

Since it is Saturday night I want to briefly blog about something else that I am super excited about...DAY LIGHT SAVINGS!  Yes, this is in fact my favorite holiday by far.  Sure, it's not a holiday that requires a huge prepared feast (although I say any night is a night where ton's of delicious food should be enjoyed), and we do not go to bed awaiting a big jolly old man descending into our homes spoiling us with gifts, but it is still my all time favorite holiday.  It's a day where we get an extra hour (of sleep)!  What is better to celebrate than time?!

How often do we wonder, 'if I only had one more minute, hour, or day, I would have (___blank___)!'  If you had a little extra time would you say the one thing you regret not saying?  Would you spend the time enjoying something you love, but left too soon?  Or, would you perhaps spend that extra time to like SorryWeArePerfect on Facebook?!?!

The best part about Day Light Savings Time is that you do have that extra hour, so go out and make the best of it!  And don't forget time is not guaranteed so make the most of it today...for Day Light Saving Time's evil Spring twin is only a few seasons away and prepared to steal back that extra hour.

Are Bullies Bitches?

We recently did a show about the word bitch which was eye opening in many ways.  We explored the sexual bias and implications and also why it is destructive for a productive society.  In doing research for this show I revisit many of the same feelings I had during that shows production.  I am baffled and at times enraged at the personal pain one feels when faced with encountering a bitch or a bully.  When revisiting the scenarios of bitch victims I think about that unfortunate girl who is isolated and attacked (mostly verbally) by a group of peer bitches.  Smiting her clothes, endagering her self esteem and focussing on making her life a living hell.  Cut to a bully, which isolates it's prey, assaulting them with words but more likely physical force and demading defeat.  It may just be the way my mind works but when I think of a bitch I still think of a female predator and when I think of a bully I instantly imagine a male.  Which leads me to ponder, are bitches and bullies the same thing, just gender specific terms?!  What do you think?!?!

A Short Story About Bullying.

The Day Ruth Bigsby Died.

            I never came right out and hurt Ruth Bigsby, but I was just as responsible for her death as the rest of our senior class. The local news reporters on Fox, ABC, and CNN called it suicide, because of how Ruth executed a perfect swan dive off of the New Paltz public library roof, but it felt more like murder. And if the whole class was standing there cheering her on, Jessica Gleason was the one who stepped forward and gave her a shove. Sitting at graduation, listening to the principle talk about how we were all finally adults, heading out into the real world with a real purpose, I looked around at the faces I’d been seeing since kindergarten and shuddered at the thought that they were all, like myself, capable of murder.

            Ruth did the deed on the hottest February Tuesday upstate New York had seen in over twenty-three years. A high of sixty-eight and not a cloud in the sky. The sun was shining brighter than a lamp with no shade and if you didn’t check the calendar to see the date, you probably would have figured it for March or April. People were coming out on their porches for work and school in their sweaters and jackets, pausing to look around and sniff the almost spring-like air and then turning around and heading back inside to change. Everyone at school was wearing short sleeves and real summery looking clothes, even though the inside of New Paltz High was still pretty chilly.

            My dad always says that if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. That’s what Ruth Bigsby always was to the rest of us-one big problem. She’d been getting picked on for as long as anyone could remember. Right from kindergarten most kids were making fun of her second-hand clothes that seemed to always need washing. Her stringy, brown hair was never pulled up in a cute scrunchy or clip, but instead always hung like a dank curtain to hide her face. Ruth wasn’t exactly what anyone could call pretty, but she might have looked better if she had a mom to fix her hair and wash her laundry. Instead she had a drunken dad that we all called “Pukey Pete” because on more than one occasion he was known to puke outside P & G’s and pass out in his parked truck. The grownups always talked in whispers about the Bigsby family. Seems Ruth’s mom, Gail Bigsby, had been kind of pretty and sweet. But one day she fell down the stairs of their apartment and broke her neck. Allegedly, it was an accident, but from the whispers of the adults it was clear no one really believed that.

            If you ask me, Ruth never really had a chance at making friends. Besides the obvious things like lack of hygiene and being poor and all, she just never seemed that bright. Any school day of the year you could see her squinting at her notebooks, her textbooks, or the blackboard, gnawing on the end of her pen like some kind of rabid skunk, her deep-set eyes filled with confusion while boys like Cliff Tally and Chris O’Dell made “Pee-U” sounds and farting noises in her direction. Once a pen even exploded all over her face and mouth, blackening her teeth and causing the whole class to laugh. Some kids snickered a little guiltily behind their hands while others, like Cliff and Chris and Jessica, laughed and pointed outright.

            In middle school, to add insult to injury, Ruth blew up to nearly two hundred sweaty, shuffling, wheezing pounds. Teasing turned into tormenting and when the petite, blonde, ferret-faced Jessica Gleason dubbed her “Big Ruth Bigsby” the name stuck and Ruth began to suffer in new ways. Walking down the hall behind her, boys would make pounding noises and pretend she was causing an earthquake. A flush would creep over her acne-spotted cheeks and she would hurry along faster, but that only increased the frenzy of their attacks. Occasionally, someone would stick out a foot and trip her, laughing hysterically with the crowd while she scrambled to collect her books and papers from the floor, her too-tight pants stretched over her huge butt.

            It was disgusting to watch and while pity was unavoidable, you also had to wonder why she couldn’t pull herself together. Fight back, try harder, and blend in-anything other than just letting people torture her. I could feel myself cringe on the inside whenever Ruth was in the midst of one of those attacks, yet on the outside I was laughing just like everyone else. If I didn’t, I risked becoming the victim of teasing myself. After all, I was hardly Miss Popularity. I balanced precariously on the ledge between THE QUIET GIRL and A NOBODY. In high school you’re basically either a part of the “In” crowd or you’re not, but some of us managed to waver somewhere in the middle. There was no way I was going to risk becoming an outcast by associating myself with a social deadweight like Big Ruth Bigsby. Sure, sometimes I felt guilty for not sticking up for her, especially since I knew better, but I consoled myself with the barely reassuring fact that I never actually teased her myself.

            All eighties movies and clichés aside, high school is war and you’re lucky if you make it through without blowing off a leg in a minefield. Anyone that says otherwise either doesn’t remember high school very well or was part of that elusive “In” crowd themselves. John Hughes always made it seem like the jocks and the geeks and the freaks could all bond over detention or make this huge stand and learn some valuable lesson about accepting others, but the truth is there’s no more dangerous predator for kids than the popular kid sitting next to them in math class, making their life a living hell. If I had stuck up for Ruth Bigsby just one time, she might still be alive, but more than likely she still would have been tortured and I would have been right there in the trenches with her. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take, so instead I just went on laughing with the rest of them, doing my best to fit in.

            That particular Tuesday, the day Ruth decided enough was enough, most seniors were too focused on the warm weather, upcoming Prom, and our much-anticipated graduation to bother with Ruth. However, a shrewd observer might have noticed that spring was in the air for Ruth that day as well. Instead of her usual unkempt appearance, she was wearing a flowered skirt and purple top that almost made her look a little thinner. Her brown hair, usually greasy at the roots and frizzy everywhere else, was blow-dried and clean. Her skin, typically a mess of volcanic pimples and old acne scars, was covered in what appeared to be an attempt at makeup. She still wasn’t pretty, but that day Ruth had tried.

            It had to be at lunch, with most of the senior class lounging in the courtyard, that Jessica Gleason, bored and more than a little irritated at her on-again off-again boyfriend Chris O’Dell, noticed Ruth Bigsby sitting quietly on a picnic bench under a tree. She stared at her, her mean eyes forced into slits as she watched poor Ruth eating a burger and fries. She nudged her cronies Pam Edmond and Lisa Garris, who were preening next to her, and they all turned to stare. They always sat in the same place, like a queen on a throne with her ladies in waiting. Unfortunately, Ruth had picked a bench in a location where in order to get to the trash cans she had to lumber right by Jessica, Pam, and Lisa. As she finished her lunch, gathered her garbage, and shuffled shyly across the courtyard towards the cans, Jessica stood up and slinked towards her, throwing a wink back over her bony shoulder at Pam and Lisa. They giggled and watched with excited, sparkly eyes as Jessica slipped behind an unsuspecting Ruth, reached out and grasped the hem of her flowered skirt in her bright pink claws, and yanked down.

            There was dead silence save for Ruth’s gasp and the cackling laughter of Jessica and her friends. Everyone in the courtyard stared, frozen for just a few seconds in disbelief. Then, slowly but surely a wave of laughter, hoots, and hollers swept over the crowd. It was almost impossible not to laugh, even if you were just laughing out of nervousness. Most of us had been laughing at Ruth so long, we didn’t even think about it anymore. As she clutched at her skirt and tried to pull it up while stumbling towards the parking lot, she tripped and fell, which caused the crowd to laugh even harder. She looked like a beached whale, floundering towards an ocean that was just out of reach. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, as Jessica Gleason pointed and laughed harder and longer than anyone else, Ruth managed to pull herself to her feet and make it out of the courtyard and onto the road, where she made off in the direction of downtown.

            I’m guessing there’s a moment in everyone’s life where they have a chance to do the right thing in a really bad situation and if they fail to do so they’ll be forced to stare at that guilt in the mirror every morning for the rest of their life. Yah, I know, forgiveness is divine and all that, but in that moment I felt like I should get up and do something and I didn’t. What exactly I could have done I’m not sure-go after her, yell at my classmates to leave her alone, anything to show that I hadn’t completely sold my soul to the devil. But I did nothing. I sat there, frozen to the bench, watching Ruth run off and somehow knowing that this time we had crossed the line and nothing would ever really be okay for Ruth Bigsby ever again.

            It’s only about three blocks from the school to the library, but I can picture now how long that journey must have seemed to Ruth. Sweating, crying, fighting for breath, she must have thought she’d never make it. Surely she was thirstier than she had ever been. Did she think about what she was going to do or did her feet take on a mind of their own and carry her to that rooftop? Didn’t any adults, a kind elderly woman or a mother or father running errands or jogging, stop her to ask what was wrong? Of course not. Teachers had seen what was going on for years and never intervened.

            Ruth Bigsby made it to that rooftop and jumped off just seventeen minutes after Jessica Gleason exposed her in front of most of our class. No one will ever know if she stopped short once she reached the edge and thought it through or if she just ran across the black tar roof and threw herself into the air. They’re calling it a suicide, those reporters, but it seems more like murder to me. We all walked her to the edge, year after year, insult after insult, but it was Jessica who gave the final push as she teetered on the brink. Somebody, anybody, could have reached out to grab her before it was too late, but nobody did. That’s a guilt that’s real hard to get rid of, no matter how you spin it.

Standing by Instead of Sticking Up.

In my previous blog post I stated that I had never been bullied or bullied anyone myself. However, there were many times when I witnessed bullying and did nothing to stop it, even though I knew it was wrong. Now granted, for those intent on bullying, I probably would not have been able to pull an after-school-special moment and change them into a nice person. But maybe it would have made a difference to the person who's adolescence was marked with teasing and tormenting to know that somebody was on their side. If I knew that bullying was wrong, and I just stood by and watched it happen without saying anything, wasn't I just a little bit guilty?
Not too long ago there was a horrific story in the media about a girl who was degraded, beaten, and gang raped outside a school dance. Allegedly, dozens of students stood by and watched without stepping in to help. While some little monsters cheered on the attacks, many others reported being horrified. Why then did nobody call for help? Why didn't the many teens in the crowd who knew it was wrong put a stop to it? There is a theory that people in situations like that don't go for help because they assume others already have. But while the level of violence in that situation is much greater, every day while thousands of kids are being bullied, fellow students and teachers stand aside and do nothing.
In fact, some of my greatest regrets are because when I was in high school and I saw kids being bullied, I did nothing. I didn't want to be picked on myself. I wanted to fit in and I was easily intimidated and afraid of confrontation. But I can remember being so angry watching the abuse, that tears would come to my eyes. If I could, I would apologize today to every kid that I didn't stick up for. And for the people out there who do, you truly are a special kind of hero.
Of all the bullying that goes on out there, I suspect that only a small fraction of the people involved are true bullies. I think the greater number of people either just get in line and do what those around them do or they just put their heads down and ignore it. But how can we expect bullying to stop if we pretend it doesn't happen?
Perhaps, and this is just a theory, one way to start changing things is to educate kids on how to stick up for others when they see something going on that they know is wrong. Maybe it's about teaching kids to do the right thing, even when it's not the popular thing.

Understanding Bullying.

My co-host Mike & I both feel very strongly about the issue of bullying. We've both known people who were severely bullied and we've seen how much it can hurt someone to feel as though they don't belong. It seems that with as much awareness as there is about bullying, the situation would be getting better, but every day there's something in the news about kids being bullied. I've read multiple articles about kids who were bullied so badly that they eventually took their own lives. Clearly, something needs to be done.
Whenever we prepare for a new episode, we do a lot of research on the topic. While many of our topics are fun and lighthearted, occasionally we have the opportunity to address an issue of greater importance that we hope can have an impact and make a difference. How unfortunate that everyday children in this country go home from school in tears because they are bullied. How unfortunate that people sit by and watch as kids are bullied, and they don't do anything about it. Parents, teachers, other students...why don't they speak up? As we go through the next week & a half, learning all we can about bullying, we hope to understand a little more about why it happens, what can be done to stop it, and how it affects those involved.
I was never bullied. I also never bullied anyone. But there were times when I saw it going on and did nothing to stop it. Luckily, to the best of my knowledge, those kids that I saw bullied made it through school without committing suicide or turning to other acts of violence. However, I've often wondered about how they are now. With so many bad memories of their years in school, are they unhappy? Did it injure their self-esteem in the long run? What would they say to those who bullied them if they had the chance to confront them now. And on the flip side, how about some of those people who bullied others and who grew and changed...what would they say to their victims if they had a chance to make amends?
There is much to think about, but here is an article to get us started. In order to solve the issue of bullying, we need to start by understanding it.
http://www.empoweringparents.com/The-Truth-About-Bullies.php#

Thank you Hollywood...

"Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze." We've learned a lot about romance these past two weeks. What it means to people, how it varies, when it’s lacking…one thing I’ve realized is, in one way or another romance is ingrained in us from the time we’re born. It’s in our books, our music, and our movies. The very first stories we learn, fairy tales, often revolve around the central theme of romance. We are made to believe that love is romance or vise versa and when we grow older and our relationships are not full of romance, we often feel as though something is lacking. Nevermind security and support, loyalty and honesty…we want romance. We want the scene in Sixteen Candles where Jake Ryan is waiting for Samantha outside the church. We want Noah on a dock in the rain telling Allie he wrote her a letter every single day for years. We want meetings on the top of the Empire State Building, someone stopping traffic for us, chasing after us, and standing outside our window holding up a boom box...and when real life isn't like that, we often feel disappointed. Now I get that not every moment can be that way, but can some? Is there a happy middle ground when it comes to romance? How do you find the balance in love between living in a John Hughes movie and turning into something as bland as an episode of Leave it to Beaver? And are we so brainwashed by Hollywood that we've lost site of what true romance really is? 

Tune in tonight as we share what we've learned about romance...maybe we'll all walk away feeling just a little bit inspired and romantic.

Stealing romance tips from a random internet site- BAD IDEA
Stealing romance quotes because you cant think of something to blog about- HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!

Enjoy!

 Humorous and Funny Love Quotes

http://www.romancestuck.com/quotes/humorous-quotes.htm

A collection of humorous and funny love quotes.

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

-- Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

-- Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.

-- Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

-- Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

-- Anonymous

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

-- Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."

-- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.

-- Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.

-- Anonymous

Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!

-- Anonymous

You can't buy love on eBay.

-- Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

-- Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

-- Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

-- Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

-- Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.

-- Cher

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.

-- Cher

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.

-- Dorothy Parker

I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.

-- Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

-- Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

-- Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise.

-- Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.

-- Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

-- George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

-- Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.

-- Groucho Marx

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

-- Helen Rowland

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

-- Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you.
And she never did.

-- James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

-- Jean Kerr

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

-- Joan Crawford

It's been so long since I made love,
I can't even remember who gets tied up.

-- Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

-- Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.

-- Jonathan Carroll

Just In Case You Were Wondering...

So a couple months ago my partner's brother's new fiance got invited to attend a conference in San Francisco and asked if my partner and I could watch their 3 kids.  Sure enough I was just about to ask her if she could watch my 100 pound Golden Retriever and tiny shitzu-maltese barking nightmare while Matt and I went out of town to Ocean City, sooo, I had to accept her request.  She warned me that in all fairness the three kid's schedules were something of a matrix.  For example, on Wednesdays Lilly gets out of school at 3:15 but has to be at softball practice by 3:30, meanwhile the younger duo,Garyian and Maddie,  get out of school at 3:45, and Garyeon has to be at football practice by 4:00, but not without getting him a little snicky snack so he doesnt pass out like Lindsay Lohan after a long night of partying drinking "red bull"...Fortunately after we scuttle Garyun off to American football practice we do not have to have Maddy to her practice until 4:30.  However we do have to pick up Lilly at 4:45 so that we can transport her to CCD, which I am led to believe is a Christian Children Discussion group or something...needless to say I do NOT want her to be late to that.  I may in fact try and find a nun named GIDGET and hope she has flying powers just in case I am running late and need to summon her to my rescue.  Fortunately after we get her to CCD we have a few moments to catch our breath, drive thru Starbucks and get a double mocha espresso.  The line better not be long.  Then, we pick Maddie up from practice and get her to CCD at 5:30, and then leave CCD to get Gary-yen from football and then head back to pick up Lilly from CCD by 6.  I don't think Maddies group ends their discussion until 7:30, which to me seems like a long time for 10 year olds to sit and discuss, but I'm assuming they get a lot done!

The reason I mention all of this is because I am currently in PA partaking in said adventure and thus have little time to writ, oh crap I'm down one kid, i gotta go!

Can We Overdose On Romance?

We already explored the idea that romance is subjective, and I guess whether or not you agree with that statement or not is in itself subjective...However, today I was wondering if one can ever overdose on romance.  Think about it, whatever "romance" means to you, it is something that gives us a warm and gushy feeling inside, like a box full of kittens.  But can you ever have too much of a good thing?  I love, and I mean LOVE, cheese!  In fact, just the other day I had one of my favorite meals, a grilled cheese sandwich.  It not only hit the spot, but made be so thankful that I had two pieces of bread and 2 slices of American kraft Singles in my life.  I loved it so much that I decided to be bold and make it a double feature and make grilled cheese for dinner too.  I even flirted with the idea of waking up extra early and firing up my griddle to make it again for breakfast.  I didnt.  You wanna know why, because after a while if you have the same thing ovfer and over and over, back to back to back, it loses it's luster!  If you don't believe me try eating the same thing for every meal for a mont, heck even a week.  Or, try watching the same movie every single night for a week straight.  Sometimes we just need space between the sweet indulgences in our life.  For those that know me you are probablly rolling your eyes thinking "does he have a point or is this yet ANOTHER excuse to ramble on about cheese" to which I respond...maybe a little...but no, I do have a point.  My point is, can someone be too romantic?  Let's say that you are the type of person who finds romance in the simple things someone does, like take out the trash, or write you a love poem.  If someone writes you a poem, every day, or is always taking out the trash, will you always think that your loved one is being "romantic" or does it just become second nature?  And if so, does that mean that romance is the act of filling a void in your loved ones life?  Was the first time your boo took out the trash "romantic" because you were the one who constantly was burdended with that responsibilty and when they finally took the effort to pitch in and show you that they care, was it romantic because that void was filled?  What if you were in a relationship with someone who very rarely verbally expressed how much they loved you or cared for you.  Then out of the blue they hand you a hand written poem that expressed their feelings in ways they verbally could not.  That might be the romance you were looking for but weren't hearing.  Well, if they wrote you a poem every single day would it still feel as romantic as the first couple times or would you think "aww this is sweet, but a) I know that I am 'your pumpin pie that you cannot lie that when Im not there you wanna cry' so you do not have to tell me that every day...and b) spell check is also romantic".  Can we overdose on romance?  Again, I know this is a subjective thought but please SUBJECT me with your thoughts?!?!

"Why Men Are More Romantic Than Women" by Dr. Terri Orbuch

Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman battle out their romantic differences in a scene from

(Below is a great article about men, women and romance! Don't forget to take the quiz at the end to test how romantic you are)
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/why-men-are-more-romantic-than-women-2439559

In a scene from the new movie, "No Strings Attached," a young woman chastises a man for breaking their no-romance code by showing up at her work with a balloon. Uncontrollable urges of chivalry? Sounds like a romantic comedy myth, but it's not. 
“Men are typically more romantic than women,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, a social psychologist who has spent the last 24 years studying 373 married couples. In interviewing spouses, she discovered husbands were more likely to describe their wives in traditional romantic terms, while wives spoke more practically about their relationships. “When we asked married men to talk about how they met their wives, their stories had more romantic flavor,” explains Orbuch, who details her findings in the book 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. “They talk about being smitten, falling hard; they also use terms like 'soul-mate' and 'love at first sight'," she says. "In contrast, wives talked about being very cautious of their partner when they first got together and guarding themselves from getting too close early on."
While romantic gestures may vary between couples, Orbuch's research suggests that men are more likely to uphold fairy tale beliefs (i.e. happily ever after) than women.  Her research is virtually identical to the results of a survey of 21,000 men and women by the psychological testing site Queendom. In response to questions on love, men were slightly more romantic in their description, using expressions women avoided, like "destiny" and "love conquers all". "Most men have an unappreciated romantic streak," said study leader Ilona Jerabek, PhD, in a statement. "You just need to understand where they are coming from to appreciate it."
Where they’re coming from is another culture. In the guy code, compliments are harder to come by and conversations about deep emotions aren’t as widely accepted. “Men don’t get the same amount of affirmations as women from their friends and family,” explains Orbuch. “They rely on the positive feedback they get in their relationship for their overall mental well-being.” One study by a Wake Forest Psychology professor even suggested men feel physically better when they're in a relationship. That may explain why men may embrace their partners as soul-mates—they satisfy a unique emotional and physical need that's harder for them to come by.
Another theory is that men are more prone to love at first site and falling fast because their brains are hard-wired to have stronger reactions to certain visual cues. In MRI scans, women showed less activation than men in the area of the brain that controls emotions when shown the same visual cues. In other words, when women see something they like, they proceed with more caution. In love song terms, if men are singing James Brown's "I Feel Good," women are singing Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know?"
But if men are so romantic, how come they've gotten such a bum rap?  It may all boil down to a misunderstanding. “Women relate to words, so they want to hear men say how they feel over and over,” says Orbuch.  “Men relate to behaviors, so they're more likely to show their feelings through actions. In the end, there’s a mismatch between the two.” To remedy this, Orbuch suggests couples come to an understanding about their own gender limitations and needs. Women may say 'I love you,' but men may express those three words with simple actions like filling the car up with gas or driving out of their way to pick a woman up. Reading between the lines can simmer arguments or feelings of neglect.
Of course, not all men, or relationships, are alike. "It's important to know what your personal romantic needs are," says Orbuch. Her six-question self-assessment test is a good starting place to measure your own RQ, or romantic quotient.
Question 1: True / False -- I believe in love at first sight.

Question 2: True / False -- I fall in love easily, and when I do, I fall hard.

Question 3: True / False -- I believe there is a perfect soul-mate out there somewhere for me.

Question 4: True / False -- If I don't have passionate feelings for someone right away, chances are s/he's not "the one."

Question 5: True / False -- No matter what challenges life presents, love can conquer all.

Question 6: True / False -- When you're truly in love, passion never fades; it can last forever.
Now, count up the number of "true" answers.
Scoring:
1-2: You're a realist. You are probably more interested in a partner who can take a toaster apart or get along with your eccentric parents than one who makes passes at you in public.
3-4: You're a secret dreamer. You may harbor secret fantasies about love and romance, but you're still firmly attached to the idea that a partner is, above all else, a source of security and your anchor in life.
5-6: You're a total romantic. You can list the best on-screen kisses of all time—because you've watched them over and over! You envision you and your partner madly in love at 90 and still whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears.
 *Test excerpted from "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great," by Dr. Terri Orbuch.